There is always “bitterness” in what we called happiness, and I keep trying to inject some sort of sweetness into everydayʼs life after such realisation. The feelings of frustration would still emerge, after we think weʼre determined on what we really want. However, everything in life goes continuously, including the “bitterness”.
It’s not the uncertainty of the future that annoys us,
but the futility of actions and fear of admitting it all after realisation.
Step forward and think backwards, to endure myself as a form of life, trying to feel and understand. Look back and review on “how did I get here” whenever get lost. We shall be completed together but yet individually, whenever our paths cross.
Get drunk because I was sobered. Dreaming because I was awoken.
-What do I have to say:
<Endless Hidden> is the first subject I have in the < Forms Of Life >series.
I experienced lucid dreaming nearly every night recently, to see myself wandering in the dreams. I awaited the reappearance of all those scenarios Iʼve gone through in my dreams in everydayʼs life, thinking that they felt distanced but yet familiar.
The structures of this series of works are so different from my previous works. For the passed year, Iʼve been absorbing the stories of the others, and tried to tell their stories through my formative abstract paintings, but yet I felt like “I” was absent in those. So I started a journey of self discovery, to spend time on thinking about life and existence. An indiscernible hard feeling strikes, when I came to such a conclusion - “to live is to prepare for the death”. Because to me, the most painful thing in this world is the futility of actions after realising it all. Intoxication is a way to seek comfort, dreaming is for the escape of the world called “reality”.
We kept on crawling, thinking weʼre seeking for everything that was previously unknown, yet without findings. Those “unknowns” were meant to be a part of self completion, and the flaws we didnʼt dare to admit. We can actually try to “foresee the future” and turn it into actions, but we didnʼt believe enough. And in my believes, I chose to let go. I let myself go in the creation process of this series of paintings. I limited myself on the options of tools (or even without the help of tools), to let the paint transform freely while I await and to appreciate the unique growth of each “cells”.
I chose to live the drunken dreams.